Is this thing on?

Yes. Yes it is. Shoot. I didn't think people read this thing! I'm so touched that people are interested in what I have to say. I mostly just thought of it as a journal going out there no one has read or will read. Pressure is on now! :)

I haven't always been an only child. Part 2

May 1, 1992

I woke up for school and was so excited about the prospect of a slumber party at my friend Lisa's house. It was her 13th birthday party. The majority of the day is a blur. I can only suppose it was a standard day in the life of a 12-year old.

As the bus started for home, I noticed an ambulance parked on the side of the road. I turned to my friend Molly and said, "Wouldn't it be weird if I knew the person in there?" I did.

As the bus rounded for home, I saw police officers in front of our house on State Road 1. I got off of the bus and the wind was blowing really hard. My pastor came up to me and said there had been an accident. My brother, Andrew, had gotten off of the bus and been hit by a car. He was to take me to the hospital where my parents were waiting for me. I was told that he had some broken bones but they weren't sure how serious it was. I remember a lot of random things. Like a billboard with Dave Coulier on it for a celebrity hockey game.

After waiting at the hospital, we were told that he had too many internal injuries and he had passed away. Even as I write this, it seems like a former life. I was 12. Andrew was 7. You aren't supposed to wake up a sibling and fall asleep an only child. 

I remember a lot of people being at the hospital. I remember it being really dark. I remember after I found out I tried to call my friend Emily but couldn't reach her and instead called my friend Marissa. Her poor brother. Marissa was outside and I just blurted out, "Andrew just died! I'll call back." (So sorry Seth!) I remember not crying. I remember feeling like I needed to go make sure people were okay and that they knew we were okay. The rest is a dark blur.

My brother was an amazing little kid. He called eyebrows, byeows. Hamburgers were called hangaburgers. He had this little elf dance that was awesome and he could fight like a champ. I was your typical antagonizing older sister. I loved making him mad. It was so easy! He had one way to get back. He would bend in half and charge at me. He would only stop when his head made contact with my stomach as I flew backwards and got the air knocked out of me. The stories my parents and I have between he and I are just hilarious.

I also remember people being supportive in such a difficult situation. I also remember one misguided "friend" who said after I'd been back to school a few weeks and was crying in class said, "What. You're still upset about that?" Yes. Yes I was. I challenge you to be different. In fact, I still have my moments and it has been 18 years. I'm not ashamed.

The photo above is my brother Andrew and I when we still lived in Michigan. He's probably 3 which would make me 8ish. I love how I'm picking a bandaid and he's grinning like a fool. He always was happy.

These last few months, I've really been thinking about Andrew. What would he look like? Would he work with my parents, husband, and aunt at the agency? Would he be tall? Would he be married? My cousin Joe wondered if he'd wear hipster jeans. (That made me laugh) I'm sure he would. He had those darn Vanilla Ice stripes in his hair so who knows what he would've done.

I was talking to my cousin Joe on Monday about Andrew. He said he can't think of an area of his life that Andrew's death hadn't touched. I absolutely agree. He may have only been around for 7 years but his impact has far exceeded that.

I tell you all of this not for attention or even pity. Just to say this (let me get out that soap box again): If you have a sibling, be thankful. I've heard people say, "I wish I was an only child!." No you don't. Trust me. I've had the rare and unfortunate opportunity to see both sides. If I could change things, I'd chose the sibling way every time. Make the most of your time with them. You won't regret it. 

The night before Andrew died was my parents anniversary. I was babysitting Andrew and set up a treasure hunt. We had a blast! I've always been so happy that my last memory of Andrew was such a fun one! Imagine if we'd argued and fought. I really miss that twit but all in all, I'm glad I had him so I could miss him. (I hope that makes sense).

I haven't always been an only child.

There is a song that I love. It's called, "If I Could Forget to Breathe" by a little known artist called John Gorka. Here are the lyrics:


If I could forget to breathe
Forget to breathe entirely
It's happened down through history

And surely I could lose my head
Some night I could drink too much
And take it off and just forget

And I will learn all languages
I will speak in every tongue
From highnesses to savages
And to all beneath the sun

Someday I will paint the sky
I will build a ladder, make a roller
That could reach that high

And nothing that I do will pass
Everything I will and make and feel
And dream and know will last

I will rid the world of sorrow
Stop all wars and pain
I will tell you of tomorrow
As I rule the wind and rain

I can do it all it's true
But only when I've done all that
Oh will I turn away from you
Only when I've done all that
Oh will I turn away from you


There is something that is lost in just reading the lyrics. The melody is haunting and touching. Have you ever really looked at the words of a song and it doesn't mean half of what you thought it did? Yeah. All of my favorites I've decided are related more to the melody and music rather than the words. This is one case. 


When I was younger, say around ages 9-12, my dad played this album a lot. When I think about certain events in my life, this is "Meg's Theme" on that soundtrack. When I'm feeling melancholy, this is my go to song. When I'm "in the depths of despair" ala Anne of Green Gables, this is my song. 


This time of year always makes me pensive especially right now. I've not always been an only child. The time is coming close when I went from being an older sibling to being the only child again. I'll tell that story soon. It's on my mind a lot these last few months.

I get to be arm candy!!!

(steps up onto a soap box)


Ahem! Attention, Attention!


Come see my husband (and me) at the Summit City Comic Con! He's going to be doing sketches, selling his hot off of the press comic book, "The Troll & the Giant", and I'll be his arm candy/bouncer. It's the first time for any of this so come on out!!! Summit City Comic Con. Be there! May 22 (Also, my birthday. Come as a gift to me.)


He's been going to these just forever and wanting to be in a show just forever. It's his first try out and also the first time this even will be in Fort Wayne. Come support it! Thank you!


(Cough Cough) (Step down from soap box)


(If you are curious, the soap box is located in Speaker's Corner, Hyde Park, London, UK, the center of my world)


(Hi Na, Zöe, and Andy!)

America's Most Stressful Jobs 2010 - CNBC

America's Most Stressful Jobs 2010 - CNBC

I'm so happy its not just me! They have Ad Exec on their top 10 list as well as corporate executive. I'm not sure which one I actually am but I know that I feel the pressures to keep my clients, get new ones, etc. I don't think it's up there with a surgeon though. That's just crazy talk. :)

You can't have that!

"Hey Meg! I was eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast the other day and you can't eat that! It has gluten in it!"

Gee. Thanks. What a revelation. :)  Last night as Matt and I were watching our brand spankin' new Blu-Ray of Avatar (which is amazing visually by the way), he turned to me and said, "Do you ever get tired of people asking about Celiac disease? I get tired for you!" In short: Yes but I'm touched they are curious. So, for all of you voracious wheat eaters out there...here's my story: 

(Cue birds chirping and lovely music playing ala Disney)

It was late Summer 2007. I was preparing to marry the man of my dreams (M@ttyg) and working really fast and furious on releasing a full line of stationery by my self. I was feeling rough! I was nauseous, achy, exhausted, dizzy, and feeling kinda beat up. I chalked it up to work and proceeded with my life.

September 29, 2007 rolled around and it was my wedding day. Then the honeymoon in Kauai. Then we came back to work. I expected to be 100% better because the stress was over. Guess again. I felt worse than before! I went to the doctor and she said, "I'd be shocked if you weren't pregnant!" Having only been married for 2 weeks, that was extremely unlikely and I told her so. She ran all sorts of blood tests and it turned out I was not pregnant (Told ya!) but I was extremely anemic. She turfed me to the next doctor, a hematologist.

(Cue ominous evil music)

Now, unbeknownst to me, a hematologist also specializes in cancer. At least the one I was sent to did. Upon meeting me he went into cancer talk (real uplifting discussion for a 3 week old marriage by the way). While it was uncommon, it certainly could happen. He turfed me to the next doctor, a Gastroenterologist (or something like that). She was my lucky star. She instantly didn't think it was cancer but diet related. I didn't think it was that but hey! what do I know. We did an endoscopy followed by a colonoscopy on New Year's Eve (you've not partied until you've had a colonoscopy!). She was right.

Sometime in mid-January 2008 I found out that I had Celiac disease which meant that I was allergic to wheat, barley, oats, rye, and a bunch of other things related to wheat and gluten. The trick is, its more than just an allergy. It's actually a disease. Its really only an allergy in that I have a reaction. Its a disease in that if I have gluten, my body attacks itself. It's an autoimmune disease. 

When I have gluten, sometimes it effects me in a way I can tell but it always effects me in a way I can't. The symptoms I feel are extreme nausea combined with chills and hot flashes. About 1 week later a joint will ache so bad I can't bend it. About 2 weeks later my iron takes a dive and I'm exhausted.  Internally, all sorts of things begin to degrade and my body doesn't take in the nutrients it needs so I either lose weight (yeah!) or gain weight (nay!), get anemic, bloated, and a whole bunch of other really attractive features. Also, I've noticed that my allergies are magnified or I can't fight off sickness as well. Additionally, this year for the first time I've noticed that if I'm really stressed, my body just decides to act like it's had gluten by making me nauseous and achy but in reality, I'm okay. That one really stumped the doctors this week.

So, it has been one heck of a journey. Mostly, it's been okay. People always say, "I don't know if I could do it! I love bread to much!" Here's the thing: you totally could. It's like driving a stick-shift. If I can do it, anyone can.

I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit emo

I've been a little to mopey and emo lately. You know that saying where if you can't say something nice don't say it at all? That should have been my motto from the minute the clock struck 12:00 on January 1. Man what a difficult year it has been! The thing is, I don't think I'm alone. As I looked around facebook the last few months, it seems like we're all a bunch of whiners (and I'm included in that). Apparently, we all just need a hug..."I'd like the give the world a coke...." Well, maybe not Coke. Seems like that'd get everyone more ramped up.

I don't know. What I do know is that I'm tired on focusing on the negative and getting knocked down. I take it all too personally whether it's someone commenting on the work I've done, the state of my house, or the kleptomaniac cat that is Olive. Why do I do this? I dunno know. Just one more thing to whine about I guess. :)

Yeah, I'm Online. What of it?

Shhhh....I'm online and I'm working as well. Don't tell my email.

There's something "sneaky" about working, being online, and NOT checking my email. It's completely mental. I know it. Why should I care if I'm online and not checking email. Or working, and not checking email. I feel like I'm cheating on my email. This seems to be an overdependent relationship that needs to be monitored. My email doesn't care. It's just taunting me, "Psst. Meg! Hey Meg! I've got email! It may be a crisis just waiting to pounce or junk. Only I know. Hmmm....Wouldn't you like to know? I could tell you. Just click on that Entourage button and all will be revealed."

Evil email. Seriously! I have friends who work for other companies and are completely addicted to their crackberry's. When I travel for work, I'm somewhat addicted to my iPhone email but if I'm not traveling or in meetings, I rarely turn the email on. I could, but that is a dangerous slope my friends. Very dangerous. One moment, you are emailing in an airport and the next minute you are hiding in the bathroom checking email trying to hide your addictive behavior from your husband. (HAND ON HEART THIS ISN'T ME! IT'S A FRIEND I SWEAR!) (THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DENIAL PROBLEM BUT IT REALLY ISN'T ME.) (REALLY)

Anyway, if you see my email, I wasn't here.

Must have this...

Oh my. My need to be an adult and obtain a headboard has been acheived. Check this out at blik! Now to convince the hubby! "Ohhh Maaattttyyyy...."

A few of my favorite things...

Today is one of my favorite things. It's spring, the birds are chirping, I have the potential to lay in the hammocks, and it looks like it might storm. I was going to work but decided that I would rather read and watch movies all day. Something I've not done in awhile. Matt and I were supposed to get up and go to small group and church but small group got cancelled so we decided to lay low today. That's another one of my favorite things. So...in the spirit of favorite things, I'm going to make a list (in NO order):

• Hammocks with a warm breeze blowing and a good book
• Kids books that are ridiculously cute and make me want to be the main character
• My husband
• My parents
• Good music: Natalie Merchant, Meiko, Ingrid Michaelson, John Gorka, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, more meloncholy stuff.
• A good movie like (500) Days of Summer or Fantastic Mr. Fox
• Did I mention the cats? Olive and Hazel the Odd Couple of cats. Hazel is 12 and over dependent. Olive is almost 1 and like an ADD toddler.
• Birds Chirping.
• Fall in every sense of the word
• Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
• Steak (I am my father's daughter)
• My couch (most comfortable thing in the world)
• Gluten-Free Surprises. Things that I have had to do without and now can be found Gluten-Free.
• Rain
• Thunderstorms
• Fireplaces
• Long Walks on the Beach (I had to through that in since it appeared for a moment I was writing a sappy personal add)
• Hearing my husband do impressions spot on. I love that man. He really is a peach.
• Asparagus (don't know why, I just do)
• My nook filled with good books
• Rainbows and puppy dogs

Okay, the last one is only partly true. I'm not a puppy dog kinda girl. :)

Now off to one of my least favorite things: dum dum dummmmm The Grocery Store. (cue the horror music)