I haven't always been an only child. Part 2

May 1, 1992

I woke up for school and was so excited about the prospect of a slumber party at my friend Lisa's house. It was her 13th birthday party. The majority of the day is a blur. I can only suppose it was a standard day in the life of a 12-year old.

As the bus started for home, I noticed an ambulance parked on the side of the road. I turned to my friend Molly and said, "Wouldn't it be weird if I knew the person in there?" I did.

As the bus rounded for home, I saw police officers in front of our house on State Road 1. I got off of the bus and the wind was blowing really hard. My pastor came up to me and said there had been an accident. My brother, Andrew, had gotten off of the bus and been hit by a car. He was to take me to the hospital where my parents were waiting for me. I was told that he had some broken bones but they weren't sure how serious it was. I remember a lot of random things. Like a billboard with Dave Coulier on it for a celebrity hockey game.

After waiting at the hospital, we were told that he had too many internal injuries and he had passed away. Even as I write this, it seems like a former life. I was 12. Andrew was 7. You aren't supposed to wake up a sibling and fall asleep an only child. 

I remember a lot of people being at the hospital. I remember it being really dark. I remember after I found out I tried to call my friend Emily but couldn't reach her and instead called my friend Marissa. Her poor brother. Marissa was outside and I just blurted out, "Andrew just died! I'll call back." (So sorry Seth!) I remember not crying. I remember feeling like I needed to go make sure people were okay and that they knew we were okay. The rest is a dark blur.

My brother was an amazing little kid. He called eyebrows, byeows. Hamburgers were called hangaburgers. He had this little elf dance that was awesome and he could fight like a champ. I was your typical antagonizing older sister. I loved making him mad. It was so easy! He had one way to get back. He would bend in half and charge at me. He would only stop when his head made contact with my stomach as I flew backwards and got the air knocked out of me. The stories my parents and I have between he and I are just hilarious.

I also remember people being supportive in such a difficult situation. I also remember one misguided "friend" who said after I'd been back to school a few weeks and was crying in class said, "What. You're still upset about that?" Yes. Yes I was. I challenge you to be different. In fact, I still have my moments and it has been 18 years. I'm not ashamed.

The photo above is my brother Andrew and I when we still lived in Michigan. He's probably 3 which would make me 8ish. I love how I'm picking a bandaid and he's grinning like a fool. He always was happy.

These last few months, I've really been thinking about Andrew. What would he look like? Would he work with my parents, husband, and aunt at the agency? Would he be tall? Would he be married? My cousin Joe wondered if he'd wear hipster jeans. (That made me laugh) I'm sure he would. He had those darn Vanilla Ice stripes in his hair so who knows what he would've done.

I was talking to my cousin Joe on Monday about Andrew. He said he can't think of an area of his life that Andrew's death hadn't touched. I absolutely agree. He may have only been around for 7 years but his impact has far exceeded that.

I tell you all of this not for attention or even pity. Just to say this (let me get out that soap box again): If you have a sibling, be thankful. I've heard people say, "I wish I was an only child!." No you don't. Trust me. I've had the rare and unfortunate opportunity to see both sides. If I could change things, I'd chose the sibling way every time. Make the most of your time with them. You won't regret it. 

The night before Andrew died was my parents anniversary. I was babysitting Andrew and set up a treasure hunt. We had a blast! I've always been so happy that my last memory of Andrew was such a fun one! Imagine if we'd argued and fought. I really miss that twit but all in all, I'm glad I had him so I could miss him. (I hope that makes sense).